irreconcilable differences and divorce

The bible is clear on how marriage:
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous. (Heb 13:4)
let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The bible doesn't say much about marriage, and there are very few stories of marriages in the bible that go into any detail. However, it is clear that God's commandment is to follow his design, and that design is love in a covenant relationship.
What this means is faithful "tolerance" of your spouse through the hard and good times and to love - or to take care of - the other as long as you live (Rom 7:2).

It has become common for even Christians to view marriage from the lens of the visible - the external issues. Things like "compatibility" of values, profession, socioeconomic status etc. For many women I've found even their spiritual calling becomes a rival to their covenant of marriage, which they at some point in their lives might be ready to leave behind - just because they see a future that is more alluring.
The simple truth is that we've been called to be patient in love. If you have challenges in marriage (we all do!), that is the time to simply continue in denying yourself and yielding to the love of God. Continue in prayer and see how love takes over and covers even the great differences.

Why there is no poison in the wine

Worship involves yielding to God on all levels and simply worhiping Him. When you are deeply entrenched in dogmatic battles of doctrine, you may have a hard time letting go and thus the worship does not flow purely. This is not to be taken as an indication that you are wrong, but that these "things" just matter too much to you: matters of sexual purity, matters of the role of women, matters of charity and doing good works, ... matters - in general - of our horizontal reach between people. As much as you believe in the importance of your doctrinal persuasion, please hang it out to dry when you worship God. Worship God with no bars held, giving everything to Him.

Bible Answers in the midst of the Deceptions of Our Time

Below are some true statements that go against the spirit of the present world

Adultery is not okay

I have to admit, I've thought about this rather critically myself. Why couldn't a man and a woman enjoy the pleasures of the flesh if they're not hurting anybody? Meaning outside marriage of course. Many do it and in fact even some married couples say they enjoy the idea of their spouse going off to enjoy a wild night with someone else (open relationship or swinging lifestyle), or even orgies with multiple partners.

The argument we could make is that the old reasons for protecting marriage are no longer valid. We have contraception so the problem of having both parents is not a problem anymore. Nor is there the problem of who is going to take care of the woman once she loses here "market value" and becomes pregnant etc. after all, marriage was basically an occupation for a woman, where the man would take care of here financial needs (food, clothing and marital rights, as the torah puts it).

I asked God about this one day and his answer was terse: the bond is unbreakable. In other words, adultery cannot be tolerated anymore than

You see, there is an invisible bond created between man and woman when they have sex (not when they stand on a red carpet by the way). Even more than this, there is a relationship on the earth between a man and a woman that reflects the eternal love between God and His creation.

I find that the best way to think of marriage is that it's an act of worship to God, where we give up time and effort to please God. This is not about you, your spouse or how good the sex life is. This is about faith! And faith means this: to be obedient to God when you don't

2. Men and Women are not equal

- gender is God's idea: Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created. (Genesis 5:2) - Women can marry men, men can't - Men can be leaders of churches, women can't (1 Tim 3 "a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife")

3. Killing is not forbidden, murder is

- Exodus 20:13: Do not murder - Numbers 35:30 ""Every murderer of a human being is to be executed only according to testimony given by multiple witnesses. A single witness is not to result in a death sentence." - Deuteronomy 20:16 But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: - 1 Samuel 15:3 Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. - The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing

4. Truth is more important than your feelings

2 Timothy 4:3- preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound[a] teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5 As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

How can I be the head of my wife and protector of my home when I'm not Bruce Willis?

This is one of those "I would if I could, but I'm just so weak" issues. Being the head of your wife is a matter of obeying God. And being the protector of your home is mostly a matter of not opening the door to the enemy.
The title is provocative and silly for a reason. Media such as movies has brainwashed us to think that in order to achieve anything you need to be the very best - and even then it's a struggle. This makes you lethargic and fatalistic. You don't even want to try. You seek constant validation and become a "mama's boy", thinking that is matter what you do.
The universe is different from the movies (shocker!) and you don't have to have all it takes to solve every problem. The world is different for every one of us. You only need to be faithful in the things that have been given into your care.
Stand tall and do your part. Stop opening the door to the enemy just because you think you can't resist him anyway. It's a trick!
The experience of being a man, trying to provide for his wife and kids, trying to be loving etc. is one that will lead to one of two directions: the arms of God or failure! Point being: you shouldn't try to do this alone. Lean on Jesus.
In order to be the man of her dreams and God's design, you need to become weak towards God and lean on Him to have the strenght to go on.

We are hopeless

"They crucified two criminals with Him, one on His right and one on His left." (Mark 15:27)

There are two kinds of people on this Earth: criminals and criminals; which one are you?
Lets be a bit more specific...

1. One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at Jesus (Luke 23:39)

2. The other admitted to wrongdoing and asked Jesus to remember him (Luke 23:40-41)


So now which one do you want to be?


I've been a believer for 20 years and I've observed the biggest deception for humanity to be the hope that they are perhaps not criminals after all and they can fix their problems and build a lasting future without God.

Make no mistake about it: we are hopeless criminals! Every last one of us! We have all broken the very foundations of life and the created order of God. In our sin we are not compatible with life and God's creation. We deserve to see the fruits of our ways, which we don't even realize are terrible beyond imagination. Every evil word produces death and destruction (do you want to enjoy that for eternity?). Every adulterous look breaks the creative holy bond between man and wife and produces rejection, loneliness and terror for the parents and children. And so on.

"All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” (Romans 3:12)

"God looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. Everyone has turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one." (Psalm 53:3)

"I will never again curse the ground because of man, for the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth" (Genesis 8:21)

The only way to be close to God is to turn away from the works of flesh. The surest way to turn away from God is to trust man...
"Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD." (Jeremiah 17:5)

Let us not trust man, but God, for...

"And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." (Psalm 9:10)

"none who wait for you shall be put to shame" (Psalm 25:3)

Why is there Homosexuality in America?

The church has bought into the modern idea that men and women are equal and interchangeable. Homosexuality follows logically from this: if men and women can do the work of a man or woman, a man can do the work of a wife and marry a man! There is a strange blind spot here and we need to address it.

My Statement on Charlottesville

My statement regarding the recent political violence in Charlottesville. Just in case I end up in yet another pointless conversation on the topic, so that I can direct people to my statement. Part I: Finnish Perspectives I come from outside the American political discourse, from Finland - one of the most racially homogeneous countries in the world, where we take pride in judging people ONLY by their merits, not their skin color or bloodline. We are a nation of peasants with almost no trace of class society. However, I do realize that racism of a sorts is a part of my life as well. Let me explain. When I meet a Russian, I really have to apply Luke 6:28 and pray for the person I meet so as to be in the love of God towards a person that to me represents centuries of unprovoked attacks, enslavement and a superior attitude towards my people. In the 18th century, Russians took tens of thousands of Finns slave (from a nation of 400,000), and this was just one of the woes our people endured from them. War followed war, followed by sporadic raids in between. For centuries. Later there were more positive developments, which ended in our nation's independence, only to be followed by an unprovoked attack by Soviet Russia on our independent nation in 1939, for which the USSR was thrown out of the League of Nations. It is only 75 years since that war, and the scars are still there. On the other hand, our people never had slaves. Certainly no black slaves. As a child, I never saw a black person until when our family traveled abroad. And mostly these people were part of the same church and very pleasant to be with. fear of strangers is a natural response (and we all have it), but that always gave way to friendship and appreciation when you find how nice the other person is. It is nowadays easy to forget there was racism and classes among white people, even to pretend there was no such thing. The middle ages are over, along with the feudal system, slavery (of white people) and class society. In Finland, all men and women have had voting rights since 1906 but not before that! Similar stories can be told of many European countries: white men have not had voting right for all eternity and class has defined destinies of white people for a long time. I can say I understand racism on the side of the victim: the combination of fear and resentment towards people that represent the abuse of my people. And I've also found a solution to it: the love of God that covers many sins, and the realization that I will be judged one day for ONLY my own actions, not those of others. No amount of empty words in media will help. And ultimately my and my nation's destiny is in our own hands. A narrative and mentality of victimhood and bitterness will only rob us of the better future that is ahead of us. Part II: America Much of the racial and other political issues in America are incredibly divided. When talking about political issues, I often get (and have learned to dread) the question "where do you get your news from?" This is a question I've never heard outside the USA and to me it epitomizes what is wrong about the highly divided political discussion here: very few care about the facts, but decide their (highly emotional) response based on who is reporting. In other words,its a question of taking sides. I've made a point of cross-referencing the news sources of the two bickering sides. A piece of news that is harmful to the right, I take from Fox. A piece of news that is damning to the left, I take from the NY times. Confused faces and hilarity ensues :-) But the point is, facts don't have a political affiliation. Facts don't take sides. They are the same no matter where you read them from. And 99% of the time, that is how I find them to be represented in media, although I probably read news differently from the typical American. We are all responsible for making a real effort to understand the absolute facts outside of partisan considerations. Part III: Charlottesville Charlottesville represents to me a seed of discord sown into the nation, around which thousands upon thousands of harmful and divisive conversations build up like a giant snowball that didn't have to happen, is made up of harmless water, but which has built up momentum and crushes all in its path. Once that snowball melts, we can find a tiny tiny spec of dust inside that will make us all ashamed of how big we made this to be. I wish! I can almost hear the next snowball rumbling towards us as we speak. Another round of finger-pointing, renouncing, taking sides and unfriending on Facebook is just around the corner. Part IV: The Church So is there any shelter from this bombardment? Is there any solid ground we can stand on and still remain standing after the (yet another) storm has passed? Yes: the Word of God. "You shall not -- curse a ruler of your people." (Exodus 22:28) "-- Fear God. Honor the emperor." (1 Peter 2: 17) The point: there are some boundaries to how you should talk about the leader of your nation. Leave the president out if unsure, and do not judge him. And it doesn't matter if its a D or a R sitting in the White House. In particular, there is no need to accuse the president of racism, especially when he hasn't said anything racist. And he hasn't. Another principle enforces this: "He who diligently seeks good seeks favor, but evil comes to him who searches for it." (Prov 11:27). In other words: try to find the good in every person and situation, instead of all the evil (and suspected evil). If we keep blowing every evil thing out of proportion, that is what we'll end up with. "If possible, so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all." (Romans 12:18) "-- You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Romans 13:9) "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get." (Matthew 7:1-2) Meaning: do not judge people. Perhaps judge actions, words and policies if needed, but not people! If someone asks you to judge another person, remind them of this verse. A good perspective on this comes from seniour IHOPKC leader Stuart Greaves, who reminded us of a certain young nationalist, who made murderous threats in his religiosity and zeal, but later became known as Paul the apostle.We shouldn't condemn a person to forever be in a certain mold, but free them from such curses. In the bible, Joshua asked the angel whether he was on the enemy's side or his side. The answer was: "No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord." (Joshua 5:14). Perhaps this is a clue how God feels about our political bickering. Part V: In Conclusion My feeling is that everyone is left hurt and worse off after this whole ordeal. Old fears, resentment and bitterness has erupted among the black population. A sense of shame and (mostly wrongful) sense of guilt has washed over the white population. Everyone is eyeing everyone else with suspicion. Many whites have risen up to state various versions of "thank God I'm not like those sinners", which only reminds me of the pharisee's prayer in Luke 18:11. People crying, fearful, divided and angry left and right. So when someone asks you whose side of THIS you are... your answer should be the same as that angel's: no.