irreconcilable differences and divorce

The bible is clear on how marriage:
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous. (Heb 13:4)
let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The bible doesn't say much about marriage, and there are very few stories of marriages in the bible that go into any detail. However, it is clear that God's commandment is to follow his design, and that design is love in a covenant relationship.
What this means is faithful "tolerance" of your spouse through the hard and good times and to love - or to take care of - the other as long as you live (Rom 7:2).

It has become common for even Christians to view marriage from the lens of the visible - the external issues. Things like "compatibility" of values, profession, socioeconomic status etc. For many women I've found even their spiritual calling becomes a rival to their covenant of marriage, which they at some point in their lives might be ready to leave behind - just because they see a future that is more alluring.
The simple truth is that we've been called to be patient in love. If you have challenges in marriage (we all do!), that is the time to simply continue in denying yourself and yielding to the love of God. Continue in prayer and see how love takes over and covers even the great differences.

Why there is no poison in the wine

Worship involves yielding to God on all levels and simply worhiping Him. When you are deeply entrenched in dogmatic battles of doctrine, you may have a hard time letting go and thus the worship does not flow purely. This is not to be taken as an indication that you are wrong, but that these "things" just matter too much to you: matters of sexual purity, matters of the role of women, matters of charity and doing good works, ... matters - in general - of our horizontal reach between people. As much as you believe in the importance of your doctrinal persuasion, please hang it out to dry when you worship God. Worship God with no bars held, giving everything to Him.

Bible Answers in the midst of the Deceptions of Our Time

Below are some true statements that go against the spirit of the present world

Adultery is not okay

I have to admit, I've thought about this rather critically myself. Why couldn't a man and a woman enjoy the pleasures of the flesh if they're not hurting anybody? Meaning outside marriage of course. Many do it and in fact even some married couples say they enjoy the idea of their spouse going off to enjoy a wild night with someone else (open relationship or swinging lifestyle), or even orgies with multiple partners.

The argument we could make is that the old reasons for protecting marriage are no longer valid. We have contraception so the problem of having both parents is not a problem anymore. Nor is there the problem of who is going to take care of the woman once she loses here "market value" and becomes pregnant etc. after all, marriage was basically an occupation for a woman, where the man would take care of here financial needs (food, clothing and marital rights, as the torah puts it).

I asked God about this one day and his answer was terse: the bond is unbreakable. In other words, adultery cannot be tolerated anymore than

You see, there is an invisible bond created between man and woman when they have sex (not when they stand on a red carpet by the way). Even more than this, there is a relationship on the earth between a man and a woman that reflects the eternal love between God and His creation.

I find that the best way to think of marriage is that it's an act of worship to God, where we give up time and effort to please God. This is not about you, your spouse or how good the sex life is. This is about faith! And faith means this: to be obedient to God when you don't

2. Men and Women are not equal

- gender is God's idea: Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created. (Genesis 5:2) - Women can marry men, men can't - Men can be leaders of churches, women can't (1 Tim 3 "a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife")

3. Killing is not forbidden, murder is

- Exodus 20:13: Do not murder - Numbers 35:30 ""Every murderer of a human being is to be executed only according to testimony given by multiple witnesses. A single witness is not to result in a death sentence." - Deuteronomy 20:16 But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: - 1 Samuel 15:3 Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. - The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing

4. Truth is more important than your feelings

2 Timothy 4:3- preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound[a] teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5 As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

How can I be the head of my wife and protector of my home when I'm not Bruce Willis?

This is one of those "I would if I could, but I'm just so weak" issues. Being the head of your wife is a matter of obeying God. And being the protector of your home is mostly a matter of not opening the door to the enemy.
The title is provocative and silly for a reason. Media such as movies has brainwashed us to think that in order to achieve anything you need to be the very best - and even then it's a struggle. This makes you lethargic and fatalistic. You don't even want to try. You seek constant validation and become a "mama's boy", thinking that is matter what you do.
The universe is different from the movies (shocker!) and you don't have to have all it takes to solve every problem. The world is different for every one of us. You only need to be faithful in the things that have been given into your care.
Stand tall and do your part. Stop opening the door to the enemy just because you think you can't resist him anyway. It's a trick!
The experience of being a man, trying to provide for his wife and kids, trying to be loving etc. is one that will lead to one of two directions: the arms of God or failure! Point being: you shouldn't try to do this alone. Lean on Jesus.
In order to be the man of her dreams and God's design, you need to become weak towards God and lean on Him to have the strenght to go on.